just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
