Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
nut hugger
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
