drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
