never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You dont lie about slip and slides
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
