there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
