i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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