im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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