I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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