Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
