sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
