There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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