If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
