I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Houston, we have a blender
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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