Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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