To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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