Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
