I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize