He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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