So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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