I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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