he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
