we're blogging at a bar
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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