he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
