Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
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