you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
