The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
