I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I intend to get homeless drunk
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
