There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
