Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
MIDGETS
????
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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