Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Randomize
