I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize