Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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