you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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