lets start a swedish sibling band together
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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