In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
