you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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