I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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