i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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