I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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