Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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