But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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