508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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