I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize