Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
