I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
it's like iHOP with fire
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
