We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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