it hurts more in the daytime
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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