Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
