why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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