We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
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