Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
