I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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