it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
