we have officially lost it.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
