Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
