we have pet lesbian snakes
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize