I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
