You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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