your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize