your room smells of hookers.
And success
People with herpes should wear stickers.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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