This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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